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Costello Tries to Buy A Computer From Abbott By Author Unknown

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

ABBOTT	Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO	Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT	Mac?
COSTELLO	No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT	Your computer?
COSTELLO	I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT	Mac?
COSTELLO	I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT	What about Windows?
COSTELLO	Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT	Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO	I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT	Wallpaper.
COSTELLO	Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT	Software for Windows?
COSTELLO	No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT	Office.
COSTELLO	Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT	I just did.
COSTELLO	You just did what?
ABBOTT	Recommend something.
COSTELLO	You recommended something?
ABBOTT	Yes.
COSTELLO	For my office?
ABBOTT	Yes.
COSTELLO	OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT	Office.
COSTELLO	Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT	I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO	I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT	Word.
COSTELLO	What word?
ABBOTT	Word in Office.
COSTELLO	The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT	The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO	Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT	The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO	I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT	Money.
COSTELLO	That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT	Money.
COSTELLO	I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT	It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO	What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT	Money.
COSTELLO	Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT	Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO	I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT	One copy.
COSTELLO	Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT	Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO	They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT	Why not? THEY OWN IT!
	A few days later...
ABBOTT	Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO	How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT	Click on 'START'.............

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This page originally posted on Tuesday 25-Aug-2009

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